i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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