Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
