i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
