Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
