Buhtt sex?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
