He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Couch. On fire.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize