...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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