are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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