i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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