hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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