Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
