you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
