Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize