We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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