I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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