I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize