I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize