No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
