Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
