toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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