you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
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