yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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