hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
