i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
