I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize