And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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