i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
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You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
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Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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