It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
