I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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