Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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