Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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