Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Randomize
