so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
