Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Randomize
Follow @tfln