I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
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