Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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