Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
