This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
