Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
My life is pants optional.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
