So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
