wakey wakey hands off snakey
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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