I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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