She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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