i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
