Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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