Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
