Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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