I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
