i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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