I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
