So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
