Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
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I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
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I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
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