I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
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my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
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DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary