Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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