i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
