Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
The air was thick with penises
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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