I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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