Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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