It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize