just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
