Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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