...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
